[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.3s] Friends, this could be the windmill that we are looking for!
[6.6s] I think you need wind for a windmill to work, so why would they even have built it here?
[9.9s] Anyway, this place is super creepy.
[11.9s] It looks like an old windmill.
[14.6s] Got a real creepo vibe to it.
[17.4s] That's about what you detect to it.
[19.4s] Help! Help!
[21.3s] Does anybody hear that?
[22.6s] Yeah, we've gotta go, and I'm already, like, heading in that direction.
[26.0s] You see a man caught in quicksand.
[30.2s] Thank goodness you guys came by.
[31.8s] What were you doing out here all by yourself?
[33.7s] I heard there was gold here.
[35.2s] Yes, I heard there was gold here, too!
[37.0s] He's following the rumor!
[38.5s] I'm Glim, what's your name?
[39.7s] My name is Esau.
[41.4s] What's it say?
[42.2s] The letter says,
[44.4s] Don't Trust Me,
[46.2s] and it's signed Esau the Miller.
[49.0s] Ah, fuck.
[50.2s] If you eat the mushrooms, you stay and you be my friend.
[53.0s] Esau, you have to tell the truth.
[55.0s] No, I am. You have to eat the mushrooms.
[57.1s] Just like Hillip here did.
[58.3s] Hillip, did you eat the mushrooms?
[60.6s] I was so hungry, and he said they were tasty.
[63.5s] And how do you feel?
[65.3s] I feel a little rumbly in my tumbly, but I'm feeling okay.
[85.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[92.2s] We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
[94.6s] and I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More,
[96.0s] and with me today is Amy More.
[99.0s] I am, as I am always.
[105.0s] I feel fair for what I am.
[106.5s] Yes.
[109.3s] I play Sullivan Sleight, a lightfoot halfling rogue.
[114.2s] And Tom Laird.
[116.6s] Yes, I am also here.
[118.6s] I am the Eternal, and I play Moot.
[122.1s] He's a half-orc, wild magic sorcerer.
[125.4s] And Carla Maxted.
[127.8s] Are any of us really here?
[130.6s] I think we are.
[131.2s] I think I am.
[132.1s] I play Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin.
[135.4s] Carla asking the important questions.
[137.0s] This is a real deep start.
[138.3s] It's going to be a real deep episode.
[139.9s] No jokes this time, friends.
[141.9s] Sorry, just kidding.
[143.3s] We won't make it three minutes without a dick joke.
[146.6s] Speaking of thick.
[151.2s] I should have said we won't make it three seconds without a dick joke.
[160.0s] This tracks.
[162.9s] Hey, where we've got crazy cool new things going on very soon is over on Patreon,
[167.8s] but what's consistent about Patreon is you get an episode dedicated to you.
[171.8s] Today's episode, which is dedicated to Chris LeBlanc.
[175.9s] Thanks, Chris.
[177.0s] Thank you.
[177.4s] Thank you, Chris.
[178.6s] Thank you, Chris.
[179.5s] You're awesome.
[181.0s] And now, fuck it, let's play D&D.
[186.1s] Okay.
[188.5s] Yeah, let's.
[191.1s] Moot, Glim, and Sully find yourselves in the middle of a
[195.3s] seemingly spooky forest situation.
[200.3s] Uh, in a windmill town.
[202.7s] Maybe it's spooky.
[203.5s] Maybe it's not.
[203.9s] Is it only seemingly spooky?
[205.6s] We don't know.
[205.9s] Have we just built this up in our minds?
[208.1s] Well, we did find a talking skull.
[210.6s] That's true.
[211.4s] Yep.
[211.9s] That would increase the spookification of this forest.
[215.9s] I'm going to have to remember this accent here.
[218.5s] Excuse me.
[219.5s] Uh, Esau has just fled into the forest before you.
[222.6s] Behind you at the top of a staircase lies a wooden chest and Hylip yells out,
[227.8s] so maybe check the chest out later then as we run after the crazy guy.
[235.2s] Yeah, Hylip.
[235.9s] I think let's chase the crazy guy first that was just going to kill you.
[241.1s] Then we'll come and check for the treasure.
[243.6s] Yeah, he was going to kill me.
[244.8s] I forgot that.
[246.3s] He didn't.
[247.0s] It wasn't.
[247.5s] He is not a good dude.
[249.1s] He locked us in the windmill, remember?
[252.2s] I mean, you weren't part of that.
[253.5s] I mean, you went into the windmill.
[255.1s] I didn't see him lock it or anything.
[257.3s] No, but like, you know he locked the windmill on us.
[260.5s] If you're so worried about it, I can stay up here with it.
[263.2s] I'll stay up here and I'll guard it.
[264.6s] It'll be fine.
[265.4s] You guys go on ahead.
[267.8s] Okay, we'll go on ahead.
[269.1s] You're going to go up the steps there and guard the chest?
[272.3s] Solly, maybe we should all stick together and-
[274.3s] I feel like we need all the help we can get.
[276.2s] Also, maybe we should, um, skedaddle.
[281.0s] I think he's pretty far ahead.
[283.2s] All right, um, all of you, unless somebody says otherwise,
[287.8s] go run forward through the trees.
[291.0s] As you enter through the thick wooded area,
[295.1s] you come out after 20 to 30 paces to a pathway.
[304.8s] Everybody make an- probably just a perception check at the moment.
[309.8s] And perception check, coming right up.
[312.6s] And perception check.
[314.0s] Minus one- no, sorry.
[315.6s] Eleven.
[316.2s] Just minus one?
[316.6s] I was just going to give you my modifier.
[322.6s] Eleven.
[323.4s] Sorry, I dropped all my dice on the ground.
[326.2s] Yeah, but which one rolled the best?
[327.8s] Well, I couldn't really count them because they went on the ground.
[331.0s] That's a nine.
[332.6s] Wow.
[333.7s] So you three come out immediately and you begin to turn left and hill up.
[337.8s] He's like, ah guys, uh, there's the footsteps that to go off to the,
[341.0s] to the, to the right here.
[343.6s] To, do we want to follow the footsteps?
[346.3s] Yeah, that's, that's probably-
[347.8s] Sure.
[348.2s] Thanks, thanks, Hillop.
[349.2s] Yeah, if you want to be really obvious about it.
[351.8s] By the way, are you from like, uh, are you from like Sweden or are you German or?
[357.0s] We don't remember.
[359.0s] Exactly.
[361.0s] But, uh-
[361.4s] Yeah, okay, that's cool.
[362.3s] No, it's fine.
[363.0s] I mean, origins, like, what does it even matter?
[365.1s] I mean, it's pretty darn close, I think.
[367.8s] So we're going then?
[372.4s] Yes.
[372.9s] Oh yeah, let's, yeah.
[374.1s] Yeah, you had a good plan.
[375.0s] Uh, you head right and the footsteps take a quick left down the path.
[381.0s] You follow them to a dead end where they go and terminate into the trees.
[389.4s] Well, what's your, what's your plan now, Hillop?
[393.0s] I mean, I'm out of foot, footsteps.
[397.8s] Can I go to the edge where the footsteps end and do another perception check to see if I-
[408.2s] As you can, she already did it.
[409.6s] To see if I just shuck my dice, like, into the sky?
[412.5s] I don't need a perception check for that, Karla.
[414.6s] You did.
[415.0s] I have another.
[416.3s] If you are, if you are looking, you can either do a survival or an investigation check.
[422.3s] If you're looking for which, you know, pathways and following and stuff.
[425.1s] Let's do survival because I have a plus one on that, which brings me to a five.
[433.7s] Got to find that other die.
[435.5s] Hold on.
[435.9s] Is this just like a solid tree, like a big old tree at the end or is it like a,
[440.6s] it's just more wooded area.
[442.2s] It's just not a path.
[443.4s] It looks like, yeah, it looks like the footsteps just ended at the
[447.8s] edge of the path and it just goes into thicker brush.
[451.8s] But I assume you're seeing if-
[454.1s] Yeah, I was trying to see if there was like, you know, a broken twig or something,
[458.0s] but I rolled a five so I don't see any.
[459.7s] I just stand there with my eyes closed.
[461.8s] You presume it just is in there.
[463.3s] You're very confident that it went straight through.
[468.1s] What do you guys think?
[471.8s] Well, so like we're going after him because-
[479.3s] He's a bad guy.
[480.1s] He did something bad to all the people from this town.
[486.6s] Right?
[487.0s] I mean, he certainly was going to do something bad to Hillop.
[492.2s] Yeah.
[492.4s] Okay.
[495.1s] Let's keep going.
[496.4s] The more we talk about it, the further away he's getting and the more running we have to do.
[502.5s] Okay.
[502.9s] So we're just going based off of Glim's?
[505.0s] Yeah, I guess so.
[506.6s] I mean, maybe someone else-
[507.7s] Maybe someone else should try and see something or hear something or-
[513.5s] In character, Glim, you're very confident that he went into the brush
[517.7s] and that you can follow the path.
[520.5s] What were our options for us?
[521.8s] We got-
[522.7s] Survival or investigation?
[525.4s] All right.
[525.6s] Well, I will go for investigation.
[530.6s] Oh, another nine.
[531.8s] I'm on fire.
[534.1s] Crushing it with the rolls tonight.
[536.4s] Also very confident in Glim's decision to keep going.
[541.6s] Well, guys, I'm like big and tough.
[545.9s] I'll clear like a pretty big path.
[547.4s] So maybe I'll go first and you guys follow me.
[550.6s] It seems like a great idea.
[551.9s] And I just start trudging through the brambles or whatever I've just walked into.
[558.6s] You follow in where you see the footsteps terminate.
[561.9s] And it kind of is clear that things have been disrupted perhaps by someone.
[570.4s] After a couple of minutes of walking through this thick brush,
[573.1s] it comes out into a large open clearing.
[580.1s] What do we see in the clearing?
[582.4s] Just clear?
[583.4s] Just nothing?
[583.8s] Can I roll for perception?
[585.0s] Yeah, everybody roll for perception.
[587.1s] Oh, 13.
[588.1s] I'm like going up by ones.
[590.4s] Oh, 12 again.
[591.7s] Yeah.
[592.2s] Oh, my God.
[594.6s] Really nailing this love on the same page, which is nice.
[597.5s] We're really all seeing.
[598.6s] We're experiencing it in the same way.
[600.6s] It's just that we're missing half of what we're supposed to be seeing.
[603.8s] So the clearing is a large circular clearing.
[609.0s] Looks like maybe it was looking for a different word,
[612.6s] but I'm just going to go with clearing because
[614.3s] looks like it was perhaps cleared artificially to make this opening in the trees.
[621.8s] You don't see any footsteps as if, you know, your trail had ended somewhere,
[629.9s] perhaps in the trees that you didn't notice.
[632.0s] A little further ahead, it's mostly like dirt and mud, different areas.
[637.3s] You see what looks like a mound, but not like a rock.
[644.9s] But just like a mound within the dirt.
[647.5s] Like a dirty lump.
[648.8s] Looks like it's out of place.
[652.1s] You don't know.
[652.7s] Okay, let me go check out the dirt mound.
[656.8s] I walk also into the clearing and I'm like,
[661.0s] yeah, it's obvious that somebody made this here.
[663.4s] You can bend down and I touch the soil and I was like,
[666.7s] you can tell by just the composition of the dirt.
[670.4s] You are very smart about the gardening and the clearing of the trees.
[674.3s] Did you perhaps be a landscaper?
[679.0s] I did some landscapery, sure.
[681.1s] Cool, cool, cool.
[683.3s] I rolled a 20 as I investigate the dirt mound,
[686.7s] so I hope it's fucking something good.
[689.3s] It's a mound of dirt.
[690.6s] As you walk over, how close are you getting to this dirt mound?
[695.0s] I mean, is it, it's like on the side of the clearing.
[698.9s] It's kind of in the middle.
[700.0s] No, I mean, I probably just walk up to it.
[702.7s] All right, make a dexterity saving.
[706.6s] Pardon my snort.
[709.5s] Meanwhile, someone's like,
[711.0s] that over there looks like a really, really good compost pile.
[715.5s] Guys, I rolled a one.
[718.0s] Shit.
[719.7s] And I have minus one, so it's minus one.
[723.2s] Where are the other three standing?
[725.8s] Have you followed with Glim or you're discussing landscapery?
[729.0s] I'm on the edge of the clearing, like.
[731.4s] And Hillop's following you around.
[733.9s] I was listening to this landscaping conversation taking copious notes.
[739.8s] You three make a perception check before I describe what happens.
[744.4s] I got a nat one.
[746.6s] Wow, you guys are on fire.
[748.6s] It's really good.
[749.8s] This one's good, I got a 16.
[752.9s] So, Hillop and Sully, you're very engaged in whatever you're doing,
[757.8s] but Moot, you see out of the corner of your eye,
[760.5s] three arms, small clawed arms, shoot up and grab at Glim's arm
[765.8s] as she kind of bends down to see what this mound is.
[770.2s] And they begin pulling at her and she is now pulled to the ground,
[775.6s] shoulder deep in the dirt, which has kind of turned to a mud slurry around her.
[783.6s] Roll for initiative.
[785.0s] Are they still like hanging on to her now that they've like pulled her down?
[788.8s] Am I still able to see the arms?
[790.7s] It's like they grabbed her forearm and are now,
[794.2s] and Glim is now like up to her shoulder on one side.
[799.4s] Okay, so I can't see their arms anymore?
[801.8s] No.
[803.5s] Yeah.
[805.4s] Nine, and that's with my plus five initiative points, you guys.
[812.2s] Uh, eight.
[813.5s] 17.
[814.4s] I have such low initiative, like I have a minus one with this character.
[817.6s] It's a real difference.
[820.8s] Welcome to my world.
[822.1s] Also, I have 11 hit points, so I might die.
[825.7s] Moot, you're up first.
[826.9s] Oh, all right then.
[829.7s] You're surprised with your 17 versus our nine and eight?
[834.6s] I mean, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
[838.8s] Well, it makes sense you saw it happen.
[840.7s] This is true.
[841.7s] Go save the day.
[842.9s] So you're approximately, if you stayed kind of where Sully and Hillop are,
[846.9s] you're about 30 feet from the center of this clearing
[850.2s] where you see Glim now pulled to the ground.
[852.7s] Okay.
[854.7s] Glim, you feel small clawed hands grasping at your arm
[860.8s] and pulling you, like pulling you with, for their size,
[867.0s] an unusual amount of strength.
[868.7s] And it feels like you're being like vacuum suctioned into the ground.
[873.4s] She has accidentally placed her hand in an underground penis pump.
[876.9s] You may have just seen Austin Powers, he had his real reason.
[884.3s] Okay, I would like to, as I make my way over towards Glim in order to help her out,
[892.6s] I would like to cast Mage Hand in the form of a crab claw.
[898.2s] Okay.
[898.9s] And I would like to add this Mage Hand's ability to lift things
[903.8s] to my strength to try and pull Glim out.
[908.2s] Okay, so it's got a 10 pound maximum.
[910.4s] Yeah, so it's just a nice little bonus for me.
[912.8s] Perfect.
[913.3s] Just a little add 10 pounds of force.
[915.2s] Absolutely.
[915.6s] So you're trying to pull her back?
[918.2s] Yeah.
[918.4s] That's what you're trying to do?
[919.5s] Okay, let's go just a straight strength or I guess athletics.
[925.1s] All right.
[926.4s] Yeah, I've got pulse one to athletics.
[928.2s] Let's do that.
[928.8s] Yeah, do I get plus two because of my Mage Hand?
[935.9s] If you roll with advantage, just because, you know, you've got a motivational support.
[940.0s] I'll roll again.
[940.9s] Oh, a 16.
[942.5s] You run over and you just begin pulling on her leg, I assume.
[947.9s] Just whatever I can grab, belt, leg, whatever.
[950.9s] All right, so without discussing anything that's happening,
[955.8s] any way shape or form.
[956.7s] Make some sort of startled yelp and run over there.
[959.4s] Yeah, that's cool.
[961.0s] What does that yelp sound like?
[963.8s] Hey.
[965.9s] I like it.
[968.4s] So you begin to pull and Glim, you feel Mood grab you and then begin pulling you out and
[973.8s] you feel your arm coming free as you feel scratches going down your forearm.
[980.4s] You take one piercing damage.
[983.0s] Oh no, that's so much.
[984.8s] It's literally 10% of my life.
[989.1s] The creatures, it's their turn.
[992.5s] And Glim, you feel the grasp begin to try to pull you, make a strength saving throw.
[1003.5s] 13.
[1006.6s] You feel them trying to pull you down, but you manage to hold your position
[1011.1s] with the help of Moot at your feet there.
[1014.6s] Moot, you see one of these creatures that you're unsure what it is.
[1019.0s] It is a, what you see is a winged, almost bat like creature.
[1024.6s] Long pointed nose and it's dripping mud off of it.
[1028.2s] It's got long pointed claws and big beady glowing eyes and it comes over to you
[1035.5s] and begins what you can only describe as belching mud all over you.
[1042.2s] And you need to make a dexterity saving throw, please.
[1046.2s] Oh, that does not sound great.
[1050.0s] I feel like Sully's not seen any of this yet.
[1055.0s] Well, then I got a job as a landscaper.
[1059.0s] That is a 14, Russ.
[1061.0s] You are not restrained.
[1062.6s] You are covered in belch mud from this creature though.
[1069.0s] And it is Sully's turn.
[1072.8s] Sully's in the middle of explaining like, well, first you got to tear up the side
[1077.8s] and then you got to make sure you level out that
[1081.3s] as I hear the probably, I don't know, throw up sounds of-
[1085.2s] Not the scream or the yell.
[1086.5s] No, no.
[1087.7s] But the throw up sounds.
[1088.5s] Well, it didn't sound very, you know, it wasn't super urgent.
[1093.4s] It was like, maybe it's like, hey, a nickel.
[1095.3s] I don't know.
[1095.7s] We've been over this before.
[1096.8s] There's other people in my house.
[1098.3s] I can't start yelling about things.
[1103.1s] So I turn over and I see this muddy, big eyed winged creature.
[1109.1s] You see Glim kind of up to her elbow, still in the mud.
[1113.4s] Claws and hands pulling at her forearm.
[1116.9s] Moot holding onto her foot or her leg
[1119.9s] and this winged bat leg mud dripping creature belching on top of Moot.
[1128.0s] What the?
[1129.2s] And I walk forward about 10 feet.
[1133.6s] Slowly, slowly.
[1134.9s] Yeah, yeah.
[1135.8s] I'm like-
[1136.5s] It's real like saunter.
[1137.8s] Well, I'm very like out of nowhere.
[1142.6s] We were just discussing landscaping.
[1146.2s] I take out my short bow and I'm going to shoot it into
[1152.8s] because I see that Glim is all like up to her elbows and crap.
[1158.2s] I'm going to shoot it into the pile of dirt that is holding her.
[1165.7s] Okay, so like the mud pit around her arm.
[1170.6s] I'm going to say roll at disadvantage
[1173.0s] because you don't really know what you're aiming for.
[1178.2s] Okay, well, how about, my disadvantage is this one, a 16.
[1186.2s] So you fire your arrow in Glim.
[1188.9s] It kind of barely just misses your arm and you hear, Glim you hear,
[1193.8s] kind of a muffled like yelp as another one of these creatures.
[1199.4s] You feel it release your arm and shoot up out of the mud
[1203.7s] and begin to stare down Sully.
[1205.6s] The fuck are these things?
[1208.4s] The ugliest sin.
[1211.3s] And that's all your turn?
[1213.2s] We're level one characters, Russ.
[1215.0s] I can't really do much else.
[1216.2s] Ain't nobody got two actions.
[1218.3s] Sully do some sort of like cabbage patch dance
[1220.8s] and being successful.
[1222.9s] I'll do a back flip and back up 10 feet.
[1226.5s] Back to where you started.
[1227.1s] Back handspring, yeah.
[1228.9s] And then I go, do you see that?
[1230.2s] To Hilla.
[1231.0s] That's crazy stuff.
[1232.4s] It's Glim's turn.
[1234.6s] Okay, so now there's two in front of me.
[1237.4s] So there's one directly in front of you that's turned towards Sully.
[1241.5s] There's one that's more over top of Moot
[1243.5s] and you can feel kind of one.
[1245.0s] Oh, there's still one on my arm.
[1246.5s] Still one on your arm
[1248.6s] and then just the suction of the earth around it.
[1251.1s] Okay, I am going to use my fire breath
[1254.6s] on the one that is standing in front of me
[1256.8s] that just popped up.
[1258.0s] Sure, perfect, cool.
[1260.2s] Do it.
[1261.0s] So the mud is all flammable and we're all dead.
[1264.6s] Oh shit, speak for yourself.
[1267.4s] DC saving throw.
[1269.0s] DC of...
[1273.8s] She'll let you know when you roll.
[1275.4s] Right, yeah, totally.
[1276.8s] Let's say 11.
[1278.6s] Dexterity?
[1279.2s] Yeah.
[1281.6s] That's going to be a 19.
[1283.0s] Oh my God, okay.
[1284.2s] Well, then it's still going to take...
[1287.0s] It's nine, so it takes half, so four.
[1290.3s] Oh, these little baby characters, oh boy.
[1294.2s] So you look up and this is going to be the first time
[1296.7s] that anybody has seen your fire breath.
[1299.3s] So describe to me what your fire breath looks like
[1301.4s] as you aim towards this mud creature.
[1303.1s] Okay, well, I think...
[1306.7s] So it is because of my brass ancestry,
[1309.8s] that's why I have fire as my breath weapon.
[1313.4s] So I think it would have that kind of tone to it,
[1316.7s] like a ruddy copperish kind of tone
[1319.3s] as opposed to like orange or red or blue flame.
[1321.8s] A copper tone?
[1323.3s] Don't get burned.
[1330.6s] Yeah, so that's what it looks like.
[1333.7s] Can we react to that?
[1334.8s] Yeah, I think everybody should make a...
[1337.8s] A wowsa check?
[1339.5s] Yeah, like a wisdom saving throw.
[1341.9s] Like a mind blown?
[1343.7s] Yeah, none of you have seen it before.
[1346.7s] Well, that's only a five.
[1348.7s] It's 11 for me.
[1349.9s] Hillip and Moot are fine.
[1351.8s] Like you see this, you're wowed by it
[1355.0s] and like, oh, I thought she was not a real dragon.
[1358.9s] I don't know.
[1359.6s] You describe how you want to do it.
[1361.2s] But Sully, you are, I'm going to say,
[1364.4s] frightened at the moment.
[1366.4s] Well, holy shit.
[1367.7s] I turn around.
[1370.7s] Well, Sully, she's a dragonborn.
[1372.5s] What did you expect?
[1374.3s] What a fire from a mouth.
[1375.9s] It's where all your nice words come from.
[1379.0s] Hillip's turn.
[1379.8s] If you are, yeah, do you want to try
[1382.9s] and like pull your arm out or anything?
[1385.4s] Oh yeah, I guess I can move as well as do an attack.
[1388.6s] So yes, I will also try to pull my arm out further.
[1392.6s] Would I do like a strength check to do that or?
[1394.5s] Yeah, yeah.
[1399.5s] She actually shoves her arm before you back in.
[1401.4s] My rolls tonight are hilarious.
[1404.2s] That is an eight.
[1406.2s] As you do your flame breath.
[1408.8s] You feel like a burst of strength and you kind of pull up.
[1412.6s] But in that moment, you feel the force of the mud,
[1416.1s] the suction of the mud,
[1417.7s] reef your arm back in and you're back up to your shoulder.
[1420.7s] Oh no.
[1421.0s] Bizzix got you.
[1423.1s] Bizzix.
[1425.3s] Hillip screams, I haven't saved you.
[1427.8s] And he comes running over with his dagger
[1430.7s] and he swipes at the one above moot.
[1434.5s] And that's going to be an 18.
[1436.7s] I want to use your dice.
[1438.7s] No, you're going to ruin it.
[1441.9s] And that's going to be five piercing damage to that one.
[1447.3s] And he is squaring off with this mud creature now.
[1451.7s] Back to moot.
[1453.8s] All right, so I'm like covered in this mud vomit
[1458.3s] is a sentence I thought I would say today.
[1461.0s] Yeah, you got it.
[1463.8s] It feels like normal mud, but yeah, you're just covered in it.
[1467.0s] OK, and is this guy like within reach of me?
[1471.6s] Yeah, I mean, he got struck by Hillip.
[1475.9s] So he's within like Dagger's reach and he was nearest to you.
[1479.6s] So yeah, absolutely.
[1481.5s] OK, you're still holding on to Glim at the start of your turn now.
[1485.9s] Oh, yeah, I guess I should.
[1488.6s] Well, I guess I should probably let go of Glim if I'm going to do some sort of attack,
[1494.3s] right, because I can't do both, probably.
[1498.2s] Yes, actually, you know what?
[1499.6s] I'm going to try and just pull Glim out some more
[1502.0s] because I still got my mage hand in effect.
[1503.9s] So I got a little added strength going.
[1506.2s] OK, so I'll reef a little harder and get the crab clawed to the same.
[1511.6s] OK, yes.
[1513.7s] So what did we say last time?
[1516.3s] Yes.
[1517.0s] No, yes, yes, with advantage.
[1521.8s] I probably won't need advantage,
[1523.0s] but I'll roll just in case I crit.
[1525.4s] No, but it was a 19.
[1527.2s] You give one hard pull and Glim, you both of you here,
[1533.1s] like a loud suction pop as Glim you see in front of you,
[1537.6s] claws scrambling up from this mud.
[1540.7s] And another one of these creatures begin to lift itself from the mud.
[1544.2s] But you have pulled Glim free.
[1545.9s] So Glim, you're now prone, but you are free from the mud at the moment.
[1549.6s] And maybe I'll like do a little action roll to the side
[1553.1s] so I'm like not right in front of one of these things.
[1556.6s] Yeah, he's engaged in combat with Hylip.
[1559.7s] So yeah, we can say you could do that.
[1560.9s] Yeah. I mean, I'm already muddy.
[1563.2s] I might as well go for it.
[1564.7s] Sure. Sounds good.
[1565.9s] Thanks, Moot.
[1567.8s] I got you.
[1569.4s] It is the creature's turns.
[1572.6s] The first one attacks Hylip.
[1577.4s] And that's going to be a 16 with its fists.
[1581.9s] And he is going to take two bludgeoning damage.
[1585.1s] He's picturing this little like little boxer little bat.
[1589.2s] Oh, yeah. You want a piece of me?
[1590.5s] Totally.
[1592.5s] The one that got blasted by the flame breath,
[1595.2s] it shrieked in the moment, but then turns back to Sully and zips over really fast.
[1601.4s] And probably with advantage.
[1603.7s] You need to, why?
[1606.2s] Well, because I can't look anywhere in Glim's direction.
[1609.4s] Oh, right. You turned.
[1610.1s] So yeah, because I'm frightened.
[1612.9s] Make a dexterity saving throw with a disadvantage.
[1617.2s] Oh, but it was a 19.
[1619.4s] Sorry, the next one's going to be even better.
[1621.4s] No, it's a 10.
[1623.4s] Tried to will it into existence.
[1625.0s] Tried to make it a 20.
[1626.0s] It's a 17. I've got crazy dex.
[1629.3s] So you two get belched, this mud over,
[1632.4s] you feel it just kind of drenched your back.
[1635.0s] I go like I would and like Amy would.
[1639.4s] Not me, Glim, not me.
[1642.6s] And the other one pulls itself off out of the mud
[1645.4s] and swings its fists at you, Glim, and critically fails.
[1649.9s] So it actually falls to the ground and kind of gets sucked back in and absorbed.
[1654.9s] No, that's actually an advantage for it.
[1657.0s] So I'm not going to do that.
[1658.4s] It just looks like a real dork.
[1659.8s] Does it knock her loose?
[1660.9s] Pulls up and then it's like.
[1662.3s] Well, she's already loose.
[1663.8s] But it like it becomes running, scrambling at you.
[1668.1s] And I'm going to say it hits your shield
[1671.2s] and is going to take two bludgeoning damage on the impact on your shield.
[1678.4s] Suck on that.
[1680.9s] Sully.
[1681.9s] Can I make a wisdom?
[1684.1s] Yeah, at the end of your turn.
[1685.3s] So you have to use your full movement to run away from the creature.
[1690.0s] Okay.
[1690.6s] Which is Glim.
[1692.0s] I ran 25 feet from Glim.
[1693.8s] Which will fire the method to be able to hit you.
[1698.1s] That's going to be a 17.
[1700.5s] Okay.
[1702.9s] You're going to take two bludgeoning damage
[1704.6s] as it swings at you with its fists as you run away.
[1707.3s] Ow!
[1707.9s] So now are you running further into the clearing?
[1710.4s] I guess kind of around the edge or are you running into the trees?
[1713.5s] I'm doing the gauntlet.
[1716.5s] Okay, so you're 30 feet away from where you were.
[1719.8s] And now you can make your wisdom saving throw.
[1725.4s] 17!
[1726.1s] Yay!
[1726.7s] So you are no longer frightened.
[1728.3s] Now can I have an action?
[1729.4s] No.
[1730.4s] It is at the end of your turn.
[1731.9s] Yeah.
[1732.5s] Suck.
[1733.8s] Glim.
[1734.8s] You see Sully run screaming, waving mud behind him.
[1739.9s] And this thing just hit your shield and bounced off and is now behind you.
[1746.4s] Okay, well I'm going to stand up.
[1749.0s] So that's half your movement.
[1750.1s] Okay, that's okay because it's right there, right?
[1752.5s] Yeah.
[1753.0s] Dope.
[1753.8s] I am going to hit it with that vicious looking war pick.
[1760.2s] You got it.
[1760.8s] To see the war pick in action.
[1762.2s] Do we though?
[1763.2s] Because it's an 11.
[1765.2s] You show it, do it.
[1768.1s] Look at what I have.
[1769.4s] So war pick we said that has the pick at the end
[1772.6s] and then what does the other end look like?
[1774.4s] No, it is just one end.
[1776.2s] It's like a pickaxe basically.
[1780.0s] Oh right, buddy, yeah.
[1781.8s] So it's just like, it's just the shaft and then a pick
[1787.2s] and then sort of like a block at the other end.
[1791.2s] Right, okay cool.
[1792.2s] Did you ever say anything remotely sexual without like an innuendo pause?
[1796.2s] Every time.
[1797.5s] So you...
[1798.2s] Also this dice, it's going back in my bag, fuck this dice.
[1801.7s] It's the worst.
[1802.6s] Do you have it like on your back?
[1804.6s] Like where it is originally?
[1806.6s] I think I would have had it out
[1808.4s] because we were like chasing a bad guy through the woods, so.
[1811.4s] Sure.
[1812.0s] Yeah, you pick it up and you stand up
[1813.5s] and you swing down and strike this thing square in the head,
[1817.0s] roll for damage.
[1817.8s] Sure.
[1818.3s] Oh, I actually hit it.
[1820.0s] Yeah, you did.
[1820.6s] Oh, fuck.
[1821.8s] Thought for sure.
[1822.5s] And it was a lot of lead up for success.
[1823.7s] We are very surprised.
[1826.6s] I was just trying to get the description down, you know.
[1829.8s] See, I don't even have my dice ready.
[1831.1s] I shunned that other dice.
[1834.2s] That's what mattered.
[1835.9s] Yeah.
[1837.3s] 15 damage.
[1840.2s] What?
[1840.6s] What?
[1841.3s] Yeah, because it's two.
[1842.5s] What do you roll for damage?
[1843.6s] I'm a liar.
[1844.3s] I'm a liar.
[1845.3s] I'm a liar.
[1846.8s] That's Nulara's character sheet.
[1848.6s] No, it's not.
[1850.0s] It still is 12.
[1852.6s] Oh, 12 is good.
[1854.2s] It's 1d8 plus five.
[1855.6s] I rolled 2d8 plus five.
[1857.8s] I kept the higher one.
[1858.9s] I can reroll it if you want.
[1860.2s] That's awesome.
[1861.0s] No, no, you're good.
[1863.2s] Tell me how you kill this mud creature.
[1866.8s] How big are they?
[1869.8s] Quite literally the size of a bat.
[1871.4s] Maybe a little bit bigger.
[1872.4s] Okay, then I think I literally probably pierce through it into the ground
[1877.0s] because I'm big and this thing is like a big pickaxe.
[1883.0s] Your axe strikes into it and it explodes with a burst of sticky mud.
[1888.0s] Make a dexterity saving throw.
[1890.2s] Well, I have great dex.
[1893.1s] Eight.
[1897.8s] You get covered in it and you feel like you are restrained
[1902.6s] as you try to lift your feet.
[1904.0s] You can't move and you can make that saving throw
[1909.0s] that you are restrained until your next turn.
[1916.2s] Sully, so you're now about 40, 50 feet away.
[1921.2s] Right, because I ran.
[1922.6s] You went back, you're 60 feet away.
[1924.3s] I ran.
[1925.4s] I stopped running and I turned around real embarrassed
[1929.8s] and I was like there was a bee
[1935.0s] and I take, I still have my short bow,
[1937.4s] so I let loose an arrow at the other one that's in the air.
[1941.4s] The one that came towards you and belched over you?
[1943.4s] Yeah.
[1943.8s] Okay, yep.
[1948.8s] 25.
[1949.8s] Dang.
[1950.2s] Wow.
[1951.4s] But not that impressive when you know an 11 would hit it.
[1955.1s] Well, roll damage.
[1956.6s] I will.
[1957.4s] Still impressive, Amy.
[1959.0s] Thank you.
[1961.2s] That's nine damage of the piercing variety, I'm assuming.
[1965.8s] You turn it around and nonchAlydintly fire this arrow
[1968.8s] into this creature and it is far enough away
[1971.6s] that you don't have to make a dexterity saving throw
[1973.4s] as it explodes and you see mud go everywhere.
[1977.2s] Look at that.
[1978.1s] Gross.
[1979.1s] You guys okay?
[1981.1s] So far so good.
[1983.2s] I'm a little muddy.
[1985.4s] I walk toward them for my movement, my 25 feet.
[1988.2s] I don't know why I gave you a turn.
[1989.5s] It's not your turn.
[1990.7s] Well, too late.
[1992.2s] Too late?
[1993.5s] Yep.
[1994.1s] I did so good.
[1996.0s] Hillop's turn.
[1997.3s] If I wasn't having such a bad day,
[1998.6s] you would have rewound that on me, wouldn't you?
[2000.5s] No, I wouldn't have.
[2002.1s] I gave it to you.
[2003.1s] I just, I went out of order.
[2004.3s] I went the other way instead of down in initiative order.
[2007.0s] Who does that?
[2008.4s] Hillop's turn and he swings wide
[2010.2s] as he sees the first explosion go and hit glim but misses.
[2016.4s] Back to Moot.
[2018.5s] So there's one of these things left?
[2021.8s] Yes, just the one that you and Hillop are fighting.
[2024.7s] Okay.
[2026.5s] And I'm a little ways away, correct?
[2028.6s] Action roll distance?
[2029.5s] You did, yeah.
[2031.0s] I mean, you could easily get back there.
[2033.4s] I don't think you action rolled more than five feet away.
[2034.6s] How far did you action roll?
[2036.8s] I mean, it depends on the action roll, right?
[2039.4s] It could have been real far.
[2040.0s] Was there a slight decline?
[2041.4s] Action rolled down a hill.
[2046.3s] As you wish.
[2051.0s] Okay, I will cast Ray of Frost towards this mama jamma.
[2057.5s] Sweet.
[2059.6s] Wait, Russ said that was sweet.
[2060.9s] I don't like that.
[2063.8s] Sweet.
[2064.3s] What other shit's gonna happen?
[2066.3s] What do I have to do or you have to do for that?
[2068.3s] I have to roll a ranged attack spell against you.
[2071.8s] Do it.
[2073.9s] So Moot shoots his hand out towards this other mud creature thing
[2079.4s] and a beam of a white blue light kind of streaks
[2084.2s] towards the creature and hits it because I rolled a 19.
[2088.0s] It does hit it.
[2088.8s] Roll damage.
[2089.8s] Excellent.
[2090.3s] That is six damage.
[2097.0s] So from Hillop's view, this thing gets struck by this beam of this white light,
[2103.4s] this magical aura, and it begins to freeze from its feet up and spreads out
[2110.5s] and then explodes in his face.
[2113.4s] But because it's frozen, it's no longer sticky.
[2115.9s] It's piercing.
[2117.7s] Sorry, Hillop.
[2118.7s] So he's got to make a dexterity saving throw, which was a crit one.
[2122.9s] Crit one.
[2124.1s] So he's going to take two piercing damage to his face.
[2129.6s] Remember when you shot him last time?
[2130.6s] Not the money.
[2135.4s] No.
[2135.6s] Why are you sending it to him?
[2137.9s] Poor Hillop.
[2140.1s] My god!
[2143.0s] This hurts so bad.
[2145.5s] The mud spikes in my face.
[2149.5s] It's fair.
[2150.0s] I make my money.
[2151.5s] It's the money maker.
[2152.0s] That's okay.
[2152.4s] People dig scars.
[2153.7s] It's fine.
[2154.5s] Newsy?
[2155.1s] Oh, yeah.
[2155.9s] That's not what my portraitist told me.
[2159.5s] Had you not mentioned he's this beautiful, beautiful man?
[2163.4s] I told you he had a sweet mustache.
[2165.6s] You're right.
[2166.0s] Five o'clock shadow everywhere else.
[2169.2s] I don't think that piercing will affect his mustache.
[2172.4s] Did it like slice half of it off?
[2174.1s] Yeah.
[2174.4s] Feeling it's half of a mustache.
[2177.2s] That's never going to grow back the same.
[2179.2s] Nope.
[2180.5s] No.
[2180.8s] It's like you're missing skin below it.
[2184.5s] He doesn't know it yet.
[2187.3s] And now you're out of combat.
[2189.6s] And Hillop is grasping his face.
[2192.7s] Glim, you managed to become unstuck.
[2197.1s] I saunter over to them.
[2198.4s] Well, that was crazy.
[2200.8s] Hey, you got fire in yourself.
[2203.5s] Yeah, I'm sorry.
[2204.4s] I guess I should have warned you or told you.
[2207.5s] It's just where I'm from.
[2209.2s] Everyone kind of can do something like that.
[2212.3s] I didn't realize I should have warned you.
[2214.1s] But I'm sorry if I frightened you.
[2217.0s] Frightened?
[2217.5s] I was frightened.
[2218.3s] There was a bee.
[2219.5s] Oh, OK.
[2220.7s] I mean, we have seen a lot of those,
[2222.3s] so that seems like a very logical explanation.
[2225.9s] Moot writes a note in his notepad that says,
[2228.8s] Sully afraid of fire?
[2230.1s] Question mark.
[2234.2s] You're going to have all the dirt on us
[2235.5s] and then you're just going to write a tell-all at the end.
[2240.1s] Are you keeping an actual notebook of what he keeps?
[2242.9s] Of the things in your notebook?
[2243.5s] I'm doing my best to.
[2245.0s] OK, that's good.
[2247.8s] So what verse or sings the things
[2249.5s] that with the muddy and the flappy and the.
[2253.0s] Well, if I'm not mistaken,
[2255.2s] I think those are the the the natural predator,
[2261.0s] the dirt bat.
[2263.9s] So it's the dirt bat.
[2265.1s] You know this because of the landscaping.
[2268.1s] Oh, yeah.
[2268.8s] Sometimes we we found dirt bat mounds.
[2273.4s] Oh, so it's not like a nest.
[2275.2s] It's a mound.
[2276.8s] Yeah, and they, you know,
[2279.5s] sometimes when a place is is cleared artificially,
[2284.7s] like we see here, sometimes the dirt,
[2288.5s] the dirt bats will come and try to make mounds
[2292.7s] and their homes and they they will.
[2295.1s] They're very territorial.
[2297.4s] Deception check.
[2305.2s] No one believes a single thing she's saying.
[2307.8s] Even Hillup starts to believe you,
[2309.8s] but then as you keep going,
[2311.1s] he's like my details get fuzzy.
[2313.1s] He leans into he leans into mood
[2315.5s] and he's like, I think he's blowing the smoke up our butts
[2318.8s] for someone who's afraid of fire.
[2321.0s] Yes, he's blowing a lot of smoke right now.
[2323.3s] So much smoke.
[2324.4s] And so the territorial and I'm not surprised
[2327.3s] that we had a bit of a kerfuffle with them.
[2330.7s] Thank you so much, Sully,
[2332.3s] for all of that really good information.
[2335.5s] A lot of knowledge there.
[2337.2s] I feel like we've kind of lost the bad guy here.
[2342.2s] What do you guys think?
[2343.9s] Yeah, I think we were not chasing the bats.
[2346.4s] We were chasing a man, a human man,
[2348.5s] or something very similar with with the boots and the clothes.
[2352.2s] Yeah, the fur.
[2353.6s] So maybe should we keep trying to find him
[2358.4s] or should we go back and see what's in that treasure chest?
[2361.2s] Because he's probably going to come back for it.
[2363.7s] Oh, yeah.
[2364.4s] Maybe we go back and see if it's in the treasure chest.
[2366.9s] I would love to see what's in that treasure chest.
[2369.7s] Yeah, I guess we don't really know where he went from from here on out.
[2373.6s] So we might as well go back.
[2375.1s] And if he kept running, I mean, he could be who knows how far away.
[2378.6s] Or maybe he looped around and he's back there now.
[2380.9s] Exactly.
[2392.1s] Welcome back to the middle.
[2393.9s] Nobody else jumped in.
[2395.7s] It's me again.
[2396.6s] If we just wait long enough, Russ will do it.
[2399.1s] I didn't want to do it.
[2400.7s] And then because like I'm just an extension of Russ over here.
[2403.5s] I was like, Tom or Carla might want their voice in there.
[2406.2s] We both just froze looking at each other.
[2408.3s] Like, are you going to or should I?
[2410.0s] Do you?
[2410.7s] No, it's often better if both of you jump on, you know, just jump on top.
[2418.3s] And then, you know, like the song jump on it, jump on it.
[2421.4s] Is that what that song is about?
[2423.1s] Absolutely.
[2424.1s] You know what else you should jump on this contest that we have
[2426.7s] that's only on for the next three days?
[2429.2s] See that segue?
[2429.9s] That was amazing.
[2431.5s] You really should do those segues more often.
[2434.9s] But you can win a copy of the Ghost Assault March.
[2437.5s] All you got to do is share the post for this episode over on Facebook.
[2442.7s] It's linked down in the description or on Twitter.
[2445.9s] Share this episode or any episode that you're like, yeah,
[2448.7s] I love that episode using the dumb dragon cast hashtag.
[2453.0s] And then on August 31st, after that day is over.
[2457.4s] So on September 1st, let's say.
[2460.4s] So on September 1st, as that day begins,
[2463.9s] we will announce the winner of that contest.
[2467.2s] Just so no one thinks Russ is going to stay up till midnight
[2469.9s] to stay up to award a winner.
[2471.2s] He will not.
[2471.8s] He will do it in the morning of September 1st.
[2474.6s] I mean, all the names are still going to be there.
[2476.7s] It's still going to make sense.
[2478.3s] It'll be fine.
[2478.8s] But enter and hopefully it'll be you because Ghost Assault March.
[2481.9s] Dope.
[2482.5s] Pirates.
[2484.3s] Pirates.
[2485.3s] And September 1st is a pretty cool day as well.
[2488.7s] Not only because we're giving away that sweet book,
[2491.0s] but because we are launching some new Patreon tiers
[2495.1s] and we'll have a little episode coming out,
[2497.1s] running down everything.
[2498.1s] But we're just going to give you a little sneak a peek
[2501.1s] at some cool stuff that we've got coming up in that.
[2504.9s] We've got a new show starting in January.
[2507.2s] What?
[2507.9s] Yeah.
[2508.7s] Did anybody tell you guys about that?
[2510.7s] First time hearing about it.
[2511.6s] I didn't know that.
[2512.4s] Yeah.
[2512.8s] Perfect.
[2513.4s] So we have a new show starting in January.
[2515.6s] It's called Facing Fate.
[2517.4s] Some of our current patrons have heard the first half of the first season.
[2523.0s] But we're going to be rolling that out with all new original music,
[2526.7s] all the new artwork, all the new stuff,
[2529.0s] redone, all good with new episodes going along with that
[2532.8s] exclusively for patrons as part of this new rollout.
[2537.2s] It's going to be baller.
[2538.6s] Plus some extra bonus monthly episodes.
[2541.3s] One of which Tom runs ongoing.
[2544.4s] Yeah.
[2544.7s] The Adventures of and it's Russ, Amy and Carla playing completely different characters.
[2550.3s] So different.
[2551.0s] So fun.
[2551.7s] And then also we're going to have extra extra bonus monthly stuff.
[2556.3s] You know what?
[2556.8s] I think we're going to be releasing like a thousand episodes a month.
[2560.6s] That sounds about right.
[2561.6s] Oh my goodness.
[2562.7s] It's probably a little bit too much of us.
[2566.2s] Maybe.
[2566.7s] Like I said last time they should buckle in.
[2569.9s] I'm going to tell you like strap in.
[2572.3s] That's all I'm saying.
[2573.3s] All kinds of good stuff coming.
[2575.5s] So keep an eye on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast on September 1st.
[2579.6s] And in your feed there'll be a there's going to be a little shorty episode coming out
[2583.4s] explaining everything that we're doing differently.
[2586.6s] So thank you for listening.
[2588.2s] We'll get you back to the episode.
[2589.7s] Here's some cool promos of some cool stuff that we're going to be doing.
[2592.4s] So cool.
[2593.1s] So cool.
[2593.6s] Hey there, we're DM to GM.
[2599.6s] I'm your DM from Dumbgeons and Dragons, Russ More.
[2602.7s] And I'm your GM from The End of Time and Other Bothers, Sean Haller.
[2605.9s] And what we do here at DM to GM is we answer your questions to help you feel more comfortable
[2612.1s] playing the games you want to play.
[2613.7s] And what questions would those be, Russ?
[2615.8s] They are what game genre would you like to run?
[2618.4s] What system are you familiar with or are you looking to use?
[2621.8s] And finally, what hurdle is stopping you from running the game that you want to run?
[2626.9s] And we don't always agree, but nine times out of 10,
[2629.6s] I think we're pretty much on the same page.
[2631.5s] I like mazes, Sean doesn't.
[2633.1s] It's a big thing.
[2633.9s] Don't worry about it.
[2635.3s] Aside from the maze thing, we want to share our real experiences,
[2638.3s] what we've learned, what's been helpful so that other people can get going.
[2643.0s] Because a lot of these hurdles are just in their head.
[2645.2s] So all you got to do is send us the answer to those questions
[2648.6s] to dm2gmcast at gmail.com.
[2652.9s] And we will do our best to answer them.
[2655.9s] And then listen to us.
[2657.4s] Where do they listen to us, Sean?
[2658.9s] They can listen to us anywhere they can find podcasts.
[2662.4s] Just search for DM to GM.
[2665.1s] Send us your questions, dm2gmcast at gmail.com.
[2669.5s] Then listen every other Friday wherever you download podcasts or visit dm2gm.com.
[2675.2s] DM to GM.
[2676.5s] Get your game started.
[2678.5s] As you turn to look at which way to go, you are uncertain.
[2686.9s] Everybody make a survival check at disadvantage.
[2691.1s] Disadvantage.
[2692.7s] Oh, man.
[2693.5s] So that was a 19.
[2695.1s] That's a 7.
[2695.6s] Oh, now it's a 16.
[2697.2s] And that has a 14.
[2698.1s] I have a 13 and a 12.
[2699.6s] That was respectable.
[2700.9s] That's good.
[2702.4s] Gleam and moot, you're fairly certain about which way to go,
[2706.2s] the way that you had come into this clearing.
[2709.3s] Sully and Hillop begin walking another direction thinking that they know which way to go.
[2715.1s] Guys, I'm pretty sure it's this way.
[2717.6s] Like I seem to think that it's this way, too.
[2720.5s] Yeah, you notice like remember how I came through and I kind of knocked over all the
[2724.7s] brush and it's definitely a wider path kind of going this way.
[2730.3s] Right.
[2730.9s] Yeah.
[2731.4s] Well, that makes sense.
[2732.3s] Sure.
[2732.7s] Sure.
[2733.2s] I was just looking at the foliage.
[2735.4s] Oh, OK.
[2736.2s] Yeah.
[2736.5s] No, I mean, it kind of looks like it's open over there.
[2739.0s] But OK.
[2739.4s] Yeah, we follow you.
[2740.2s] We follow you.
[2741.7s] OK.
[2742.9s] Seems like there's still very topsy-turvy in here.
[2746.0s] Does seem like that.
[2747.5s] Then it's haunted.
[2749.1s] I mean-
[2749.2s] Why do you keep saying things like that?
[2751.9s] It's very scary.
[2752.2s] Hillop, you're the one that brought us into the spooky haunted forest.
[2755.0s] That's true.
[2755.5s] This is all your fault, man.
[2756.6s] I thought there was going to be some money.
[2758.1s] Well, there still might be.
[2761.3s] Let's not lose hope.
[2761.9s] You can buy yourself a new half a mustache.
[2764.3s] What?
[2764.6s] What's wrong with my mustache?
[2765.8s] Onward!
[2767.1s] As Moot is making like the don't mention it sign.
[2770.6s] Something's wrong with my mustache?
[2773.9s] Let's head back to that treasure chest.
[2776.0s] Hillop realizes-
[2776.6s] Montage of us walking back.
[2778.5s] No, you make it back just fine out the way you came
[2782.4s] and back to the base of the staircase,
[2785.0s] which appears untouched since the last time that you were there.
[2790.7s] So really, like, how bad is it?
[2792.3s] I can feel that there's a piece missing.
[2795.3s] It's just a really small piece.
[2798.4s] You get yourself a little bit of beaver fur.
[2801.4s] It's a beaver fur.
[2802.5s] It's a-
[2803.1s] Glue it on.
[2804.0s] Same texture as the regular?
[2805.9s] Yeah.
[2806.6s] No one will know.
[2808.1s] What's everybody doing?
[2813.6s] I'm skipping up these stairs.
[2816.3s] Sully wants to get paid.
[2818.5s] Sully came for the treasure.
[2820.1s] Sure.
[2820.8s] Are we able to roll any sort of check to see if there's any sort of visible
[2828.0s] markings on this chest or the surrounding like feet around it?
[2833.8s] Yes.
[2835.8s] You bound up the stairs before anything else happens.
[2839.9s] You've already said it.
[2840.7s] I probably do, yeah.
[2842.0s] So as Sully begins bounding up the stairs,
[2845.5s] Moot, you are more than welcome to do an investigation check limb as well,
[2848.9s] if you so desire.
[2850.6s] Um, and Sully roll a D8.
[2855.7s] I got a 12 for investigation.
[2859.6s] I can't find my D8, so I don't have to roll.
[2862.1s] Oh, wow.
[2862.7s] That's a loophole we can use.
[2865.1s] I rolled a 10 for investigation, so not great.
[2868.1s] But I do feel like I would, like maybe I would be standing,
[2872.0s] you know, with my war pick, like scanning the periphery.
[2877.3s] It's trying to see if Esau's lurking.
[2881.4s] Moot, you, as you both are entering,
[2884.6s] Hillup is asking about his mustache.
[2886.3s] Sully begins bounding up the stairs.
[2888.7s] Moot, you are looking around the staircase and you see another skull
[2893.4s] often to the right of the staircase.
[2895.7s] And as you move towards it, you hear kind of a
[2901.7s] as you look up the stairs and Sully is gone.
[2905.2s] There you go.
[2906.0s] Keister, the whole chest.
[2907.6s] It's all mine.
[2908.6s] Roll another D8.
[2916.7s] You're now a demigod.
[2918.2s] Hold on, yes, hold on.
[2921.8s] Hold on.
[2922.0s] Is this a saving throw?
[2924.0s] No, this is just a D8.
[2926.7s] Because I have that lucky thing.
[2927.4s] This is a random table throw that Russ made.
[2929.6s] This is a random table.
[2932.4s] So Sully gone.
[2935.8s] Sully, you find yourself back on the far side of the bridge.
[2942.5s] The fuck?
[2944.3s] Back to Moot.
[2946.7s] Now I saw Sully disappear, correct?
[2949.5s] You heard and then looked up and did not see him disappear,
[2953.5s] but no longer see him.
[2956.0s] I look towards Glim and Hillup and did what?
[2960.1s] What?
[2960.4s] Where'd Sully go?
[2962.0s] What do you mean?
[2962.8s] And I turn and look up the stairs like he was just.
[2967.4s] Yeah, he I heard a like a popping noise and then he was gone.
[2971.6s] I don't know what happened.
[2972.8s] I was busy trying to find the beavers.
[2977.4s] Is this skull still near me, Russ?
[2981.2s] Yes, so you had kind of made it too,
[2983.1s] but had not moved to pick it up.
[2984.4s] Okay, same sort of skull looks wise as we found before.
[2988.2s] Yeah, it looks like a human skull similar as the last one.
[2991.1s] Okay, I will.
[2993.8s] I'll roll an arcana check on it just to see if I get like
[2996.4s] the same sort of vibe from the other one.
[3001.9s] It's a 13.
[3004.0s] I don't remember what I told you the last time,
[3005.9s] but you get that exact same kind of vibe.
[3008.0s] Perfect.
[3011.2s] Sully yells, I found another skull.
[3014.4s] I think I'll pick it up, see if this one says anything too.
[3018.9s] So he picks it up.
[3020.7s] You pick it up and hold it in your hands,
[3023.2s] kind of looking it over and then it
[3025.8s] seemingly moves to stare at you and says,
[3029.6s] in the graveyard, one, two, three.
[3041.5s] Back to Sully.
[3043.8s] I look around on this bridge and I'm like,
[3046.1s] some mystical shit's going on and I start walking across the bridge.
[3057.6s] Like, like the fuck, like just kind of like,
[3060.4s] well, yeah, this would happen to me.
[3061.9s] It was this close to the treasure.
[3063.7s] You just keep getting like zipped around the world.
[3066.1s] It's really, it's happened a lot to you.
[3069.5s] I feel like I'm like losing time.
[3071.7s] Like, is this?
[3073.8s] Is Sully a time traveler?
[3075.9s] Maybe.
[3076.4s] Is this like memento?
[3077.7s] Do I need to start leaving notes for myself?
[3080.0s] Like.
[3081.8s] Maybe.
[3082.8s] As you begin to cross the bridge, make a dexterity saving throw.
[3085.6s] Son of a motherfucking bitch.
[3087.9s] Well, that's just a two.
[3089.5s] You're very dextrous.
[3090.1s] That is a saving throw.
[3091.2s] Oh, I don't think that I'm that dextrous.
[3094.0s] Oh, dex, that's plus seven, that's nine.
[3097.2s] All you hear as you step about halfway is the snap of one of the panels beneath you
[3103.2s] and you fall through, make a dexterity check.
[3114.4s] Still fall.
[3114.8s] Where's?
[3115.2s] Just dexterity.
[3116.8s] Oh, okay.
[3118.3s] Twenty.
[3119.6s] And grab the ropes as you hear the rushing rapids below you.
[3124.5s] I'm having the worst day.
[3126.0s] Back to everybody else.
[3128.4s] Okay, well, we have to figure out where Sully went.
[3131.0s] He just just disappeared.
[3133.7s] That's not good.
[3134.6s] Also, what is in the graveyard?
[3136.6s] One, two, three mean?
[3138.4s] I don't know.
[3139.2s] I don't like these talking skulls.
[3140.6s] They're not very helpful.
[3141.6s] Skulls come from.
[3145.4s] But our friends just went poof.
[3147.7s] Maybe if we go poof too and we end up where he is.
[3152.0s] What if he's somewhere really bad?
[3154.0s] Well, then he probably needs our help.
[3155.4s] This is a great idea, Hillop.
[3156.8s] You're right.
[3157.2s] Good point.
[3157.8s] Yep.
[3158.2s] And I start going up the stairs.
[3161.0s] Eight.
[3162.2s] You could poof somewhere else.
[3163.9s] Well, I would try and rescue you, though.
[3166.8s] You would.
[3167.6s] Eight.
[3174.3s] Cool.
[3176.9s] Great.
[3177.1s] I don't think it is cool.
[3178.0s] I don't think it is.
[3178.7s] So you make it up to the top of the stairs and you look down and you see the chest
[3184.5s] before you.
[3186.4s] Oh, well.
[3187.6s] That doesn't sound overly, and I quote, cool.
[3192.0s] Because he probably wanted me to end up somewhere bad and instead I just made it.
[3197.7s] OK, guys, good news, bad news.
[3201.6s] I didn't disappear.
[3203.3s] I don't know if that's good or bad.
[3205.0s] And here's a treasure chest.
[3208.4s] Do we think Sully touched the chest?
[3212.1s] As Glim turns around and addresses you,
[3215.1s] Hillop and Moot, you see that Glim has grown a full bushy beard.
[3221.0s] Cool.
[3224.2s] That is cool.
[3225.8s] Give some to Hillop.
[3227.6s] Hillop runs up the stairs.
[3229.6s] Hillop can use some.
[3235.2s] Is it to replenish your full luscious mains there, my dear?
[3239.1s] Get up there, Hillop.
[3240.0s] It might do that for you, too.
[3241.6s] Oh, my goodness.
[3242.6s] This is the best day ever.
[3246.5s] He runs up the stairs.
[3251.8s] Um, he runs up the stairs and then you hear him scream, ah, as he begins to leap up the
[3260.4s] stairs.
[3261.4s] The two of you don't know why, but he jumps and goes over the side and grabs onto the edge.
[3270.9s] And it's like, it's it's crumbling.
[3272.8s] Help me, help me.
[3276.4s] You don't see it crumbling.
[3278.2s] Hillop, it's and I'll start to walk towards him to grab his hand, help him up.
[3282.8s] Like, buddy, it's not.
[3285.0s] Everything is very structurally sound.
[3286.9s] It's okay.
[3288.1s] Be careful, my bearded friend.
[3292.9s] And I'm like, bearded friend?
[3295.6s] As you put your hands, you feel a large bushy beard that has sprouted from your face.
[3303.5s] Oh, my goodness.
[3305.2s] Am I able to go and help him?
[3308.0s] You reach down and you manage to pull him up.
[3310.2s] And as you do, and as he steps back on top, he looks down.
[3313.0s] He says, but it's it's it was crumbling.
[3317.3s] Back to Sully.
[3321.2s] Sully, so I'm hanging from these ropes.
[3323.5s] Yeah.
[3323.8s] Make a dexterity check to try and get yourself up.
[3327.2s] Well, I was just going to, like, try to call some bird friends.
[3331.4s] Just do some pull ups.
[3332.8s] I mean, that is a classic halfling move to call in giant birds to save your ass.
[3337.2s] Right.
[3338.0s] I was thinking more like Disney princess, like, oh, I rolled a fucking.
[3347.6s] Plus five.
[3348.4s] That's a seven.
[3350.0s] You reach up and try and pull yourself up and another one snaps.
[3353.6s] Make a dexterity savings.
[3357.2s] The two.
[3358.0s] Oh, my goodness.
[3358.5s] This dice is retired.
[3359.3s] That dice is not a good one.
[3360.6s] Get it out of there.
[3362.0s] That's a seven.
[3363.6s] No.
[3366.4s] That's a nine.
[3369.0s] You fall into the river.
[3371.9s] Roll for buoyancy.
[3373.6s] And now you are in a river.
[3379.2s] Which is moving reasonably fast.
[3385.0s] What do you do?
[3386.6s] Did the cult give you any aquatic training?
[3389.7s] There was a lot of aqua size.
[3397.2s] Well, I try to remember all my river training and I just I make my surface area
[3407.3s] as big as possible, as little as I am to try to stay afloat.
[3412.9s] You never put your feet down in a river because that's how you drown.
[3416.2s] And I try to if there's any debris or any logs or anything rushing in this river with me,
[3423.4s] I will try to clamor on to it so that I can stay afloat.
[3427.5s] Fuck this game.
[3429.5s] Nothing nothing really around you.
[3433.9s] So you just float down the river?
[3436.8s] Well, I guess since floating down the river, I mean, could be really great.
[3443.2s] Maybe instead, I will throw a rope and try to like lasso a rock on the edge of the river?
[3459.6s] Sure.
[3462.0s] An athletics check probably.
[3466.3s] Yeah, just maybe straight decks.
[3467.8s] That's probably fine.
[3468.6s] Sure.
[3470.8s] Fuck everything and everybody.
[3475.2s] Eleven.
[3477.1s] Yeah, you manage to fasten a crude lasso of sorts and throw it and it catches a rock on
[3485.0s] the side of the bank and you begin to swing back and towards the edge.
[3489.0s] As you get closer to it, you can feel the floor beneath it or feel the ground beneath
[3496.3s] the river and it feels slower by the edge so you can stand up.
[3501.5s] The face, I think we said, was about 20 feet up.
[3507.6s] I sit down and I catch my breath for a minute.
[3510.1s] Back to the everybody else.
[3514.3s] Back to the people not fucking everything up entirely.
[3518.4s] I mean, I feel like we're fucking everything up entirely too.
[3520.8s] No, that's fine.
[3522.6s] One of you has really great beer.
[3524.8s] I mean, we could just, we're up here now.
[3527.2s] Maybe we just like opens a box.
[3531.6s] I want to stay down below after seeing weird things happening.
[3536.9s] Okay, I'm just going to try and open it and just see what happens.
[3540.0s] I mean, we don't know that Sully might have tried to open it like we didn't see.
[3544.8s] I mean, it kind of makes sense that he would have run up here and opened it.
[3548.0s] So maybe you should.
[3550.5s] Okay, yeah.
[3551.3s] He goes to lift the lid and it opens up and inside there is a pile of gold.
[3567.9s] We found the gold.
[3569.4s] We lost a friend, but we found the gold.
[3572.5s] Well, that's not a great trade-off.
[3574.0s] As you say that, you hear a cackling laugh echo through the trees and the forest above you.
[3591.7s] Does that sound evil?
[3598.5s] Back to Sully.
[3601.0s] No.
[3601.9s] No?
[3602.4s] Just no.
[3603.2s] Pass.
[3603.5s] Wait, we can do that?
[3604.7s] Okay.
[3607.2s] No, I look back up at the cliff.
[3611.7s] Like Sully is so lazy.
[3613.7s] He does not want to fucking climb that goddamn cliff.
[3618.5s] You've moved like, I don't know, 300 feet down this river at this point, too.
[3623.1s] Oh, good.
[3623.5s] So I have to go 300 feet and then 20 feet vertical.
[3626.3s] I mean, you could go vertical first and then 300 feet, but your call.
[3629.9s] Whatever you want to do.
[3631.7s] What kind of terrain am I looking at going vertical?
[3634.6s] Is it like foresty or like?
[3636.5s] It's like it's a rocky kind of mud, you know, river carved straight cliff face with rocks
[3645.5s] and roots and stuff sticking out of it.
[3647.9s] All right.
[3648.8s] Looks fairly scalable.
[3650.2s] Okay.
[3650.7s] I put my rope back into my pack and I start to scale this rocky ledge.
[3661.6s] You, after a few long moments, managed to make it back up to the top.
[3671.6s] And as you step up and onto the edge, you hear an echoing, cackling laugh coming out
[3679.5s] and over the trees.
[3681.1s] And it seems to come down and envelop you with sand.
[3684.7s] Oh god, that sounds evil.
[3720.8s] Fuck this game.
[3733.1s] Why'd you go over the bridge?
[3734.0s] You should have went over the log like we all did before.
[3737.6s] Well, I forgot about that.
[3741.2s] I, honest to God, had no idea where I was.
[3744.7s] You put me on a bridge.
[3745.7s] I'm like, I should better fucking go over this bridge.
[3749.3s] Can't remember if it was before or after the bridge.
[3751.6s] B's were long before.
[3755.0s] Okay.
[3755.3s] Well, yes, I should have.
[3758.4s] Cursed Are the Woods was part of today's adventure created by Eric Dalek.
[3762.4s] Licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 3.0.
[3765.1s] Visit creativecommons.org slash licenses slash buy dash SA slash 3.0.
[3770.0s] The songs long road ahead.
[3771.4s] Come play with me by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[3775.2s] All songs are licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 4.0.
[3778.3s] Visit creativecommons.org slash licenses slash buy slash 4.0.